


non sum qualis eram

by Quist



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25143724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quist/pseuds/Quist
Summary: He was the Avatar, and married to boot. If they were discovered, her reputation would be in tatters.Years after the war, Azula discovers that some fires cannot be easily quenched, even by the most gifted of firebenders.
Relationships: Aang/Azula (Avatar)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 78





	non sum qualis eram

Azula was tired. She was always tired these days. Day melted into night melted into day once more much too quickly for her liking. There were too many problems, too many clamoring supplicants, and too little time to deal with it all.

Her brother had the right idea of it for once: appoint a competent subordinate to deal with the rabble and free up your own time for leisure. But someone had to make sure that said competent subordinates remained both competent, and subordinate. That her brother could stomach naming her High Chancellor of the Fire Nation and giving her unsupervised free reign over her work after everything they had gone through was mind-boggling. Only a fool would propagate his mistake.

She closed her eyes. She wished that she had more hours in each day. She wished that she had more competent subordinates to delegate to. She wished that she could afford to be foolish and trusting and—

"Your Highness, the Minister of War begs an audience with you."

She wished that she would stop daydreaming about things she couldn't change.

"Send him in."

Despite his title, the Minister of War was a man who had never been to war. She privately thought of him as the Minister of Logistics. Born into an old but impoverished noble family, he had been exempt from service due to having been appointed to his role in his youth by Azula's grandfather. He had survived multiple political upheavals by the double virtues of excelling at his job, and being too attached to his skin to risk it for pesky things like honor, familial loyalty, or steadfastness of resolve.

"Report," Azula said, forestalling his greeting.

She had never imagined she would get tired of being kowtowed to, but that was before she understood how much time could be wasted by someone she needed to talk to getting on their knees, reciting her titles, pressing their forehead to the ground for a duration of appropriately long length to show their respect for her royal blood, waiting for her acknowledgement, thanking her for her acknowledgement, and getting up again. Especially if they had bad knees.

"Your Highness, I received a high priority message from the commander of the Northern Fleet."

She heard the sound of paper shuffling. She sighed.

"Report _orally_."

"The situation with the piracy in our northern waters has grown dire, Your Highness. They have become emboldened by their success against our merchant ships, and started to attack our colonies in Liendu. The commander requests permission to create a task force among the ships of the Northern Fleet and engage."

The corner of her mouth went down. Was she only one with a working brain around here?

"The same Northern Fleet that guards the northern perimeter of the home islands?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Tell me," she said, enunciating every word, "how far is Liendu from the home islands?"

"Er, in kilometers or—"

" _In weeks_."

"Six weeks, Your Highness. Five if—"

"Six weeks. An entire month and a half of our northern perimeter left unprotected. I ask of you, how does Liendu benefit if the home islands fall?"

"Your Highness, the navy doesn't have enough ships—"

"That has an easy solution, doesn't it?"

"The terms of the treaty negotiated with the Water Tribes—"

"Only restrict us in the overall number of warships we have on the water. So change the design of the ships we operate. Expand each flagship to three times the current size. Ensure space for smaller vessels within the main hold—they won't count as additional warships if they are fully contained within the main flagship. The blockade around the home islands then requires fewer ships, leaving more resources to protect our colonies."

"Shipbuilding is outside the scope of my office, Your Highness. Perhaps you should speak to—"

" _I should_?"

Silence.

"You presume to tell me what _I_ should do?"

"N-No, Your Highness."

"I do not have the time to personally give orders to every piddling bureaucrat in the Fire Nation. I do appreciate that our nation would run much more smoothly if I did, though, so I will humor you this once. Listen closely, because I'm not going to repeat myself.

"You find the engineers to design the new ships I just spoke of. You will find the locations for the new shipyards. They will have to be located in the colonies. I'm afraid the home islands don't have enough raw iron ore, and transporting the ore over isn't worth the time wasted.

"You will find the Minister of Finance and the Minister of Labor and you will work out a plan together to fund and man the new shipyards. At some point, the brightest of you three will realize that the available budget falls far short of what is needed for such an endeavor, which is why I am giving you permission to use the funds set aside to settle discharged soldiers. Because there aren't going to be any more discharged soldiers. From this moment on, our soldiers are now our shipbuilders, and, eventually, the backbone of our revitalized navy."

"But the—"

"And do dismiss the commander of the Northern Fleet, will you? Add a note in his file to never allow him to enlist again. Proposing to abandon his post for any reason is flirting with treason. Such a man isn't fit for the vital duty of guarding our great nation."

"But—"

Azula opened her eyes.

He flinched.

" _Am I clear?_ "

"No, Fire Lord. I mean, yes, Fire Lord. I'll relay your orders immediately."

Her eyes narrowed. In an instant, the room became unbearably, swelteringly hot.

"Princess, princess, I mean, princess!"

He dropped to his knees with a heavy thud. She said nothing. She just watched as he prostrated himself before her, banging his head against the ground over and over while he blabbered apologies.

Just because she didn't enjoy the time wasted by kowtowing didn't mean that she didn't enjoy putting imbeciles in their place.

She counted down the seconds.

"Enough," she finally said. "I know you didn't do that on purpose." She let the ambient temperature drop. "Your tongue slipped. That was all. A slip of the tongue."

He nodded frantically, clearly relieved. His face was shiny with sweat.

She allowed him cling to the delusion of relief for a moment.

Then, she ratcheted up the heat again.

"Slip again, and I'll rip it out."

The horror on his face made her want to laugh for the first time in days.

Her brother, Azula decided, didn't appreciate her enough. She could steal the throne from right under him, and he wouldn't even know it until he tried to sit and found empty air.

In a good mood for once, the rest of the audience with the Minister of War went quickly. As Azula walked out of her office, even the awareness that she had to pound the seriousness of the northern pirates into Zuko's thick skull couldn't weigh down her spirits.

She strode through the halls and passed two servants carrying empty platters that—a quick glance informed her—once held fruit tarts. Mai's craving of choice. The servants respectfully made way for her. They curtsied.

"Where is the Fire Lord?"

"His Majesty is at the training courtyard in the eastern wing, Your Highness," the left one said, casting her eyes to the ground. "He and the Fire Lady are—"

She left in the direction of the courtyard. She briefly toyed with the idea waiting for Zuko to be alone before approaching him, but decided that Mai's presence would be beneficial, rather than detrimental, to her cause. While she and her erstwhile friend stood at odds over many things, theirnation's best interests was not one of them.

The eastern courtyard was one of the larger open areas in the Fire Nation Palace. Intended as a space for training firebenders, it was circular in shape, with a radius of exactly forty-nine paces, beyond which stood sturdy stone walls as tall as two men on each other's shoulders. The ground was loosened every evening by the gardeners, to ensure that it remained soft and spongy and free of vegetation, but the walls were the real beauty. While their purpose was to prevent stray fire blasts from damaging the main palace, every rock in them had been carefully chosen for its color, clarity, and luster. When the sun rose, the rays of light would create a breathtaking kaleidoscope of reds and oranges inside the arena.

She stood still in the entryway to the courtyard. If it could still be called that anymore. The soft dirt ground had become wet and muddy. Huge chunks of the wall lay in scattered pieces.

She silenced the servant who was about to announce her with a flick of her wrist.

They hadn't noticed her yet. Not with the cacophony of clashing elements as Zuko fought _him_.

Zuko had grown to look just like their father. He had hit another growth spurt after he turned twenty, this time acquiring a man's broad frame. From the back, or on the side without the scar, she sometimes felt like she was looking at Father when she saw him. Zuko had stubbornly kept the shaggy hairstyle he had acquired during his time as a peasant though, which rather spoiled the effect.

 _He_ …was no longer a boy either.

Both men were stripped to the waist, which just meant that there was more of them to splatter with mud. Mud. Her eyes roamed around the arena and landed on the answer: a figure in blue. The waterbender. _His_ wife. She had her back to Azula, as engrossed as the rest of them on the fight between the Avatar and the Fire Lord.

How peculiar. Azula didn't need to watch to know that her brother was going to lose. Sure enough, a moment after she had the thought, a boulder smacked Zuko into the mud.

He didn't get up.

No matter. He was probably fine.

Zuko staggered up. "I'm okay!"

See?

Half a dozen servants rushed to him anyways, and he disappeared amidst a dozen hands rubbing him down with warm towels. Mai waddled over half a step behind. Out of the corner of her eye, Azula saw the other participant in the duel clean himself off with a single smooth waterbending move.

She shifted her head, ever so slightly, and he vanished from her view.

Mai was wiping away the last bit of mud on Zuko's cheek when Azula reached them. Her emotionless mien looked almost tender.

How sickening.

"You look like you're having fun, brother," Azula said loudly. Mai's expression hardened in an instant. "Our countrymen are being murdered in their beds, and here I find you playing in mud with the enemy."

Zuko just gave a long suffering sigh.

"Aang isn't the enemy, Azula."

That, she thought cynically, rather depended on how one defined the battlefield.

"If you would only give him a chance—"

He was interrupted by a loud boom.

She turned. Her gaze swiftly flew to the source of the sound, moving up the the line of his long legs, following the sky blue arrow that disappeared briefly into the fabric of his pants, the tapered waist and the livid crimson scar that never failed to send a thrill down her spine, the strong shoulders, the muscles of his arms flexing as he slammed his fists into the wall once again.

She wondered what he would look like without those heavy yellow pants.

Then, she decided in a fit of pique that she hoped he would break his hands.

But it was the rock that broke, the rock that shattered. With another twist of his body, the fragments joined again and coalesced into a small mountain of shining red and gold suspended over the Avatar, shuddering like a living, miniature sun.

The corner of her mouth twitched.

"I hope you're going to demand that he fix that before he leaves, brother."

"I'm sure he will."

"I'm serious. The construction of this place cost a fortune."

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Aang!"

"What?"

"Azula wants you to clean up when you're done showing off!"

The shifting rock formed a huge thumbs up.

She scowled.

"See? Aang's a good guy."

She didn't want to argue about _him_ right now. Not with her brother. To change the direction their conversation was going in, she reached out and flicked Zuko's abdomen.

"Hey!" He pushed her away.

"You're getting soft, Zuzu. Don't you think you're this sympathy weight thing a bit too far?"

In her peripheral vision, she saw Mai's sleeves go very, very still.

"Did you come just to make fun of me?"

Zuko's voice had an edge of exasperation to it.

"Don't you know that is my favorite pastime?" She looked at him with a bright innocent expression. He glowered back at her. She was about to reach for the scroll in her sleeve when—

 _Look behind you, Azula_.

She pivoted on her heel. Without conscious thought, her arms swung out, sending out a huge fire blast that blew the incoming boulder into smithereens.

When the dust settled, she saw the Avatar in front of her.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to do that. My stance slipped for a second there."

With that dopey grin on his face, only an idiot would believe his excuse.

"Don't worry about it, Aang."

She had an idiot for a brother.

"Hey."

The Avatar was peering at her now. He reached out a hand for her cheek.

"You got a little something on your—"

She knocked his hand away and rubbed at the spot, glaring.

His smile faltered.

She felt a small surge of satisfaction.

The waterbender appeared at his side. "What were you thinking?" she started sternly, "You know trying to earthbend that much rock is dangerous."

"That's why I need practice. Say—" He was looking at her again, why did he keep looking at her? His wife was right next to him. "—since you're here, Azula, why don't we have a go? It's been forever since we sparred against each other."

Actually, it had been two months, one week, and three days. But who was counting?

She was about to refuse when the waterbender spoke up.

"Aang! Don't you remember what happened the last time you two sparred? I'm not letting you get hurt again." The waterbender grabbed both his hands and clutched them tightly.

Zuko cleared his throat. "Besides, Azula has a busy schedule. She doesn't have time—

The waterbender was gazing up at him, blue eyes imploring.

Claws reached deep into Azula's chest and squeezed her heart so hard they drew blood.

"I have time."

Her voice sounded very distant. Without looking down, she tugged at the knot at her waist. It came undone, and her heavy robes dropped at her feet haphazardly, revealing the gleaming black of her battle armor.

The Avatar grinned. He pulled his hands away from the waterbender's grip. "Stop worrying," he told his wife. To Azula, he said brightly, "See you in the ring."

He bounded away.

Zuko blocked her path. He gestured at her armor. "Did you plan to fight today?"

"I always wear armor under my robes."

"Azula, don't hurt him."

She stared at him. "You're _my_ brother. Shouldn't you be worried that he'll hurt me?"

She didn't wait for his response. She sidestepped him and jogged to meet the Avatar in the middle of the arena. The ground was still littered with pieces of torn down wall from his little display, but fighting on flat ground was boring, anyways.

She came to a stop about twenty paces away from her opponent.

"Avatar."

"Princess."

His voice caressed her title as it would a sobriquet.

"I hope you don't have plans," he said. "This might take a while."

Her lips curved. "Please. Against me, you'd be lucky to last five minutes."

He answered her with a fierce grin.

She struck first. A wave of luminous blue flame shattering the stillness between them. He answered with a whirling vortex that sucked her flame into nothingness as it surged toward her.

The battle was on.

It was luxury, fighting a master bender of his caliber. She sparred regularly with the guards, and sometimes with Zuko on occasions when Mai found the time to watch them—which she took full advantage of by frequently taunting him over being babysat by his wife—but there were few could truly match her. The Avatar. His wife, as much as she hated to acknowledge it. Her fuddy-duddy uncle, the blind earthbender, and a handful of others, all of whom lived in the Earth Kingdom.

Right now, she felt more alive than she had in months.

It wasn't long before she realized that she needed to close the distance. The key to fighting a earthbender was to go for their core. The key to fighting an airbender to cut off their escape. Both would be more easily achieved with physical proximity.

Sure enough, he shifted to waterbending. Waterbending was powered by the fluid shift from defense to offense, using an opponent's energy against them. The key to fighting a waterbender was to break that flow. She knew that now.

She was preparing to evaporate another wall of muddy water he had raised to obscure her field of sight when she realized that he was no longer in fonrt of her. She whirled around, only to be forced to bend back at the waist to avoid an air slice. But she had lurched backward too far and was going to overbalance. Jets of flame formed at her knuckles as she prepared to propel herself back up—

Only to splutter out when a face appeared above her.

He had caught her with an arm under her waist, preventing her from falling.

His fingers curled against the side of her hip.

" _What are you doing_?"

Furious gold met startled grey.

She shoved him away.

It was one thing to slip up when they were alone.

But in front of her brother? _In front of his wife?_

"I—"

She needed to end this quickly.

Sweeping out a leg, she lashed out with a circular burst of flame, perhaps more forcefully than she should have. Predictably, he fell back. At heart, he was still an airbender.

Pressing her advantage, she shot out arcs of flame, each one at a different angle, each one hotter and more powerful than the previous, in such rapid succession that it would appear to an onlooker as a single maelstrom of fire. She followed it up by flipping into the air, letting loose one final powerful blast of fire from her feet.

The smaller fire blasts had left him unprepared for the massive difference in power between them and the closing strike. The force of the final blast slammed him back.

He fell to the ground, winded. She was on top of him in an instant.

She grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the remnants of the half-crumbled wall. In her free hand, she summoned a ball of blue flame.

Their faces were so close she could feel his breath on her skin.

"No slurry to save you this time," she whispered.

She thought she saw his lips twitch.

Blood pounded in her ears.

_Look behind you, Azula._

She twisted away a moment before the icy end of a water whip would have taken off her hand at the wrist. Instead, she just got a small nick on her skin. She glanced at the spot. An angry line of red now cut across the white.

Her gaze shifted to the person who had given her that cut.

The thirst to fight roared in her veins. She had awaited this rematch for years.

But then her view of her enemy was blocked. Someone had stepped between her and the waterbender.

"Katara, cut it out!"

"She was trying to burn you!"

"She's a firebender! Do you expect her to throw rocks at me? She wasn't hurting anyone!"

"Because I stopped her!"

His voice rose in a frustrated crescendo. "I don't need you to baby me all the time, Katara!"

The silence that followed, was deafening.

It was broken by a strangled sob. The waterbender turned and fled.

The Avatar started to turn to Azula. She saw the profile of his face. Hesitation written all over it. Then, he seemed to think better of whatever impulse he had, and ran out after his wife.


End file.
